25 (Or So) Lessons for my 25th Birthday

My friends and family can’t believe I’m turning 25 this month. And though I can’t convince them, I can say definitively that it’s been a wild year. Ups and downs aside, I feel great. And I feel I can do more than I ever have been able to do. And that makes me feel great. But I know it’s fleeting, and what I think I know will probably change. But taking a moment to appreciate the ups and downs and what you’ve learned is precious. 

So, I thought I’d pass along some lessons I’ve learned, with the goal that you find read just one thing that helps you out a little going forward.

1. People don’t all think the same as you. You may think something is easy or fun or interesting and everyone else in the world struggles with it. Getting on the same page as people is hard and takes real patience and listening. Understanding what makes you unique will help you in the long run.

2. Write down what you think. Revisit what you’ve written. 

3. Beautiful things don’t need to be productive, optimized, or have cash value.

4. People will constantly try to tear you down, even in small ways. Be conscious of that criticism and build your skill by differentiating between helpful feedback and insecure attacks. Everyone, including me, is trying to build themselves up. Often people don’t know a better way to build themselves up than to tear people down.

5. Ask for advice from people you admire. Discount advice from people whose lives you do not want.

6. Say what you want. In work. In life. At restaurants. It’s ok.

7. Everything in a job description is easy. The hard part is the people, egos, and uncharted territory surrounding the job.

8. Patience. React slower.

9. Know the difference between Sudoku and Poker. Identify your problems as Sudoku or Poker. Don’t try to Poker your way through a Sudoku. Don’t try to Sudoku your way through Poker.

10. You can learn anything on YouTube; you’ll just have to watch a longer-than-necessary video, and there’s a chance they’ll teach you to do something absolutely wrong.

11. Compounding interest is the 8th wonder of the world. Invest early. Invest often.

12. Take care of your body. Decay is the opposite of compounding, and it’s a wicked little problem.

13. The Law of Diminishing Returns is real. More money, more drinks, more optimization, there’s a cap on how much it helps.

14. Showmanship matters. Willie Mays wore his cap one size larger so it would fly off while running and would also deliberately slip to the ground to make catches look tougher. His style of play helped highlight his unbelievable talent.

15. If people do things you like or admire, copy them. There is no reason to feel like you have to be original in everything you do. I straight-up copied the lessons for my birthday style blog post from someone I like, Ryan Holiday.

16. Turn off all the notifications on your phone. Really I mean most, but aim for all.

17. Being outside is nice.

18. Question defaults. Build your own defaults. Stack the deck that is the circumstances of your life in your favor.

    1. “People do X” is my least favorite argument for doing something. Have you been around people? People are crazy. Why would I want to do what crazy people do?

19. Don’t worry about taking the straight-line route to your goals. You miss a lot of things when you don't meander. Sometimes, your goal isn’t everything that you thought it was. Your diversions on the road of life can lead to bounties.

20. If it’s not actionable, it’s not a problem. It’s a situation, a circumstance, a fact of life. It may be a drag (so to speak), but, like gravity, it’s not a problem that can be solved. - Bill Burnett & Dave Evans

21. Preserve your money. Preserve your energy. Preserve your time.

22. Be about what you’re about. Let other things go. There are millions of things, problems, people, entertainment, products, and causes, all pushing for your attention. No one has the time to attend to them all. Double down on what you truly care about and have a real impact on that. Don’t spread yourself so thin you can’t be impactful on anything.

23. Live in the nuance. When teaching a college class about the entertainment business, I often say, “Well, it depends.” The certainty of life is for math and science. Our daily lives are rarely governed by such simple binaries.

24. Don’t be afraid of asking questions or sounding dumb. I’ve found that if you have that feeling, you’re probably not being dumb. I’ve met a number of dumb people, and they seem pretty confident to pipe up with something truly dumb. People who say, “This might be a dumb question, but…” are usually asking a pretty good question.

25. Give what you didn’t get, but wish you’d gotten.